Interview with Guadalupe "Lupita" Béjar Verbeten, November 14 and December 6, 2014

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Yes, my name is Lupita, Guadalupe is my name, I was called Guadalupe, my nickname is Lupita. Béjar is my last name. Fuentes was my mother's last name. I married Mr. Verbeten, so now I'm Lupita Béjar-Verbeten. I kept my last name. And he was the one who told me, "You have such a beautiful last name, such a historic last name." That I wanted to keep it. So I'm very fortunate that I'm able to keep my last name. I'm 69-years-old. I'm going to be 70, and still like to play with toys. I have my little, como se les dice en Ingles? Caperucita Roja. Little Red Riding Hood. Which I got a story that I'm going to tell you about it, later on (sic).

VILLANUEVA: And so, what's your birthdate?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I was born August 18, 1945.

00:18:00

VILLANUEVA: What are the names of your parents and what were their occupations?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: My father's name was Carlos Béjar-Fernandez. And he had a shoe factory. My mom, her name was Agnes Fuentes de Béjar. And she owned a boutique. We're talking 1945. My mom was a Jew, I'm half-Jew. Béjar is a Jewish last name, coming from Spain. The Condado de Béjar in Spain. So my relatives come from over there but we are converted Jews and became Catholic. My father died, my mom died in 1951. Had 19 children. So she died when she was, she married when she was 16 and she died when she was 34 or 36, a baby.

VILLANUEVA: So where were they from?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: My father is from Michoacán. Tangancícuaro, Michoacán. My 00:19:00mother was from Lagos de Moreno, Jalisco in Mexico. No, no, my mom was from some place in Jalisco, I don't remember cause it happened such a long time ago and I've been in the states for 49 years, almost 50 years, so I forget a lot of information. I don't remember the name of the town. I don't remember to be honest. I know it's the state of Jalisco.

VILLANUEVA: What are the names of your siblings?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: The ones that are alive are the ones that I remember best. It's Michael, the oldest brother, he's 84. He's got 10 children, still alive, married for the second time. My oldest sister, her name was Josephine, she was married too with 10 children too. So 20 right there, with my brother and sister, 20 00:20:00nephews and nieces. She died of cancer. Unfortunately, liver cancer. My mom died of colon cancer when she was 34, 36. And then we have Carmen, she's a widower. She lives in Leon, Guanajuato. Then we have Carlos Béjar-Fuentes, my brother who lives in Guadalajara, he owns a baby clothes factory. Runs a factory. He's got five children. He's a wonderful brother, he's one of my best friends. Then we have Agnes, she's got five children. She was a nun for a while. Then she left, became a beautician. Studied in France, which is the best schools for beauticians. She became a beautician. And in Lagos de Moreno, she opened up her 00:21:00beauty shop and used to win all the contests. 20, 50 years ago, we used to have all these hairdos, she used to be the best one. Agnes is alive. We have Jesse, Jesus, Chuy, my brother who joined the army. And something happened in the army to him. He got into drugs there. And he committed suicide in 1973, when he was 15. The year I got married. So many people that go to the army, they see horrible things. So when they come back, they cannot cope with it. That's why I have a lot of respect and love for the veterans. Without them, we wouldn't have the freedom that we have. So we should always love them and respect them as much 00:22:00as we can. Then we have Louie, Louie is my brother, he's an architect. He won a scholarship. He was an "A" student all his life. He got into gymnastics, he won a scholarship and studied in Scotland. Then he studied and got another scholarship, and got a doctorate in architecture. He travels the world; he comes to the States often. Teaching engineers here how to build different buildings, so a very smart man. Lives in Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, married also.

Then we have Kathy, my sister, she is one year older than I am. We're very close. And she is the Jewel of the family, because she sells gold and silver. 00:23:00Selling, she does everything, sells clothes, sells property, sells jewelry. Like the rich old ladies from Mexico that have old jewelries. She had a necklace that had about 30 emeralds, that came from Colombia. She made $3 million just on that. She didn't steal the money. She said, "Can I do anything I want with them?" "You just sell them and give me $2 million." So what my sister did, she dismantled the necklace and made earrings and rings and things, so she made about $3 million out of that. She sells everything, she can sell refrigerators to the Eskimos. Then Lupita, a su servicio. And my baby sister who is a 00:24:00homeopathic doctor, a naturalist doctor. When my mom died, she was a year and three months old so I took care of her. So I feel like she's my daughter. She's my best friend, I love her to pieces. She's a doctor and she's married to a doctor. She's a wonderful person. She lived here in Milwaukee for about two or three years and she learned English in two years. I've been living here for 49 years on the 20th of November, in a few days. And listen to my English, oh my God. And then I'm forgetting my Spanish, you know. It reminds me a joke about this guy who had a son, decided to sell his ranchito, his little property and a little ranch. Decided to send his son to the States to become a doctor and learn English. And the son wrote him, no, he sent a telegram. "Father, English, can't 00:25:00learn. Spanish, I'm forgetting." So his father sent him another one back and said, "Okay, come back my son, right away, before you become a mute." Antes que te quedes mudo. So it's the same thing with me, you know. When I go to Mexico, oh my family, they are wonderful but my goodness, Tienen las tijera grandototas. You know when they criticize everybody. I have to make sure, what I say, the way I pronounce it. For instance, my cousin bought a Mustang, a car. And I said, "Oh my cousin, Maximo bought a Mustan." He looked at me, "What's a mustan?" "The car." "Mustang. It's the way it's written. M-u-s-t-a-n-g. It's not Mustan, 00:26:00what's a mustan?" "The car." I would say, "May I use some of your spray?" "What spray?" "Spray, please." So I have to be careful when I go home, because, you know, 49 years in this country, half Spanish, half English. Thank you to my husband here, who has the patience of a saint. But he's bilingual without knowing it. He understands my half-Spanish, half-English. So it's part of the family.

VILLANUEVA: What brought you to Milwaukee? Or how did you get there?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: My father was the first one that came to Milwaukee. My father came from, a very, extremely poor family. And my grandmother used to get camotes, sweet potatoes, out of the land and cook them in charcoal. She said, "This is your breakfast. Go to school and this is your breakfast and your 00:27:00lunch." So one of his schoolmates asked him, "Can I have a bite of your--" Cause he used to put a little cinnamon and honey. "Can you ask your mama to make me." He said, "Sure." And before you know, my grandma was selling these camotes in school. So my father learned the value. "Oh my God, if I get more camotes and I cook them, I can make money." So he decided, "I'm not going to be poor no more." So he came to Milwaukee when he was 14. He said he was 17 and working on the railroads. That's how he started. He saved enough money and sent the money to my grandfather to keep his money for him. He wanted to come back and get married. He went to Mexico after 10 years and asked my grandfather for his money. My 00:28:00father said, "Oh no, you gave it to me. It's spent." He had to come back, and work some more and save some more in order to go back and get married, to my mom. So from being a pauper, he came to have money. Thanks to él camote, thanks to the sweet potato. I have a lot of respect for sweet potatoes and I love them. Story of my father. My mother was, like I said, my grandfather was a Jew, Catholic Jew. He wanted my mother to marry a very rich, Spanish guy with a lot of money too. But my mama didn't like him. He was supposedly very handsome, 00:29:00tall, green eyes. And my mother said, "No, I want somebody that I wanna choose." My father used to go to the Holy Adoration in Mexico, they have a blessed sacrament in church, they're never alone, they always rotate. And my mom looked at him, my father had real good looking eyes. He was a good looking man. She said, "I love this man. This is who I'm going to marry." So when she told her father, her father said, "No way, he's poor." She said, "I don't care." My father told him, "I don't have any money, you come from a very rich family." And he told him, "Well, you have two hands right? Do you like to work?" "Yes." "That's all I need." So all of them worked and they owned their own stores and everything. So how things change. Instead of her marrying a rich man, I would be driving a Mustang, instead of a donkey, a burro."

00:30:00

VILLANUEVA: How do you define community activist?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: It's the effort that a person makes to reach out the community and put it together, as a unity. People have a tendency, groups have a tendency, to be each on their own. Even in their own Mexican community, when I came in 1965, every little group of Hispanics had their own, Associación Hispano Azteca. But when you put the community together, the strength is there to be able to achieve what we did achieve like walking like Jesus Salas and Salvador Sanchez and helping Cesar Chavez organize the lettuce boycott and the grape boycott took a lot of organization and put the community together, so they are 00:31:00the experts. Whatever I could cooperate with was my music. I couldn't do much because I was working full time for at that time was American Motors, now it's Chrysler. So I worked there for 30 years. So I had to do my performances and volunteering after work and on weekends.

VILLANUEVA: Who was your role model as a Latina activist and what characteristics did you model after this person and why?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: There's several women that I admire in the community. The first one was Sister Agnes from Mount Vernon. Very talented, very kind. She would admit every kind of [inaudible] in Mount Vernon and help them out with her 00:32:00music. Like teaching a course in African rhythms or whatever, and she's German. Or having me in her class singing in Spanish and talking about Hispanic culture. Dolores from Mount Vernon also, Sister Edna from Saint Anne's [inaudible]. Maria Monreal-Cameron from the Chamber of Commerce is another one. Several, I try to learn from several people from the community.

VILLANUEVA: And how would you identify yourself? As a Chicana, Latina, Mexican?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I'm an American made in Mexico. Cause I'm an American citizen. So I was born in Mexico. I came to Milwaukee when I was 19 and then I became an 00:33:00American citizen. So I'm an American made in Mexico. But I have no problem accepting or adjusting to other cultures. I never did. I just made myself at home, wherever I go. I have no problems making friends, keeping friends. As long as you are open to their beliefs and you don't impose your beliefs in another person. I think that's the secret to making friends and keeping friends.

VILLANUEVA: Did any others in your family use music or art to express themselves the way you do?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: No, I'm the only one. My father's sister was a nun for a long time and she used to sing just like an angel and she was the only one. But she 00:34:00was one of the nuns who are cluster nuns, cloistered nuns, you couldn't see her face. If you wanted to talk to her, there was a dark, a piece of cloth between us so I never met her in person. But she used to sing like an angel when she would sing to us, when we were smaller. We used to go to the convent and listen. And I'm the only one. My father used to say, when I was born, instead of crying I started "do re mi fa so--" He used to make fun of me all the time. And Chuy my brother, I was maybe 1, as soon as I could walk, he would take me up in the little square garden, in my hometown in Lagos de Moreno, Mexico and approach the people. "My sister will sing a song if you give her a penny or something." And I would sing to them. Shameless, I would sing. Sometimes my diapers were clean, by 00:35:00the time I got home, they were dirty. It didn't matter you know; I would sing for people. I didn't know the difference. It's how I started my singing career. For a penny. That's how it happened. But you're born with that actually. Like I said, there were 19 in my family and out of 10, I'm the only one that really went out. I had to work for Chrysler because I needed to support myself. And I managed to get two years of college at UW-Milwaukee. So going to school during the day and working second shift. So I was sleeping one hour, two hours. Finally, I got sick and needed to see the doctor and the doctor said, "You need to choose. Either you work or you go to school." So I didn't have the money so I stayed at Chrysler. Now I'm too old, to go back to school. I just don't have the 00:36:00patience. But I'm very happy with what I've done.

VILLANUEVA: What are the primary genres of your music pool? The primary genres that you started singing first or influenced you first?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Well, I went to a Catholic school, with nuns, and they chose me to part of the choir. At the time, my range was three octaves. If they need a soprano, I would sing soprano. If they needed somebody singing low, whatever. I was like a ping pong ball, I went up and down in the choir. I learned a lot from them. I learned, because I play the guitar by ear. It's how I learned to play 00:37:00the guitar. I didn't want to take lessons, so I learned by ear to play the guitar. If I like a song, I sit down and listen to it, close my eyes and I get it.

VILLANUEVA: How old were you when you started to teach yourself to play the guitar?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: About 14. My cousin had a guitar and I told him, "I'll shine your shoes if you let me touch your guitar. Touch the strings." He said, "You wash my car, I'll teach you a little bit." So that's how I learned.

VILLANUEVA: What made you tie together protest and song?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I come from a political family. From a democrat family in Mexico. And like I said, my uncles were in the Revolution. The Cristero Revolution in Mexico in the 1930s. So my father was very much into politics and 00:38:00inside my father's house, was a big house, and would have the meetings for the democrats there. And every time that we'd have a campaign. This is terrible, what I remember but I'm going to tell you but little kids don't think. When we would have the group, the PRI, the Republicans, going down the street and we'd go to the top of the roof of the house and throw stones at them. It's terrible to say but nobody told us, you know. We just wanted the democrats to win no matter what. Él Pan, is actually bread. Partido Accion Nacional. The National Action Party. I'm guilty of that. We didn't know any better. We wanted to be a 00:39:00democrat, to be able to have a job and have food on the table instead of having a few people controlling the money. Then I decided I wanted to be a lawyer, so after high school, I managed to get two years of home economics scholarship that I got. Then I went to Guadalajara, I went to Columbia College and became a bilingual executive secretary. I just did it because my younger sister wanted to go to school there and I wanted to go with her. Like I said, when my mom died, I was responsible for her so I wanted to protect her. "Nobody touches her," you know. So that's the reason I went to school but I never liked it. I never, ever got a job as a secretary.

VILLANUEVA: What is the most memorable performance and why?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Cucurrucucu Paloma is Huapango, "Dicen que por las noches. No 00:40:00más se le iba en puro llorar," la paloma. I love that song. The one that I love too is, Huelga En General, which I got the words for, finally. We sang during the Cesar Chavez hunger strike and all that. It's a beautiful song. Maybe I'll have the chance to sing it, bring my guitar. At least that song, part of that song. It's just beautiful. I don't remember the first time to be honest with you, I've been doing-- It's going to be 50 years next year that I came to this country and the following day, I came here the 20 of November 1965. The following day, I was invited to sing for the Folk Fair, at the old arena 00:41:00downtown in Milwaukee. Thousands of people, so here I come from a little town and here I am in front of thousands of people. And then a light followed wherever I went, so it was a different experience than I ever had. And I got nervous, of course. But after that, it became second nature to me. From there on, I was performing for the International Institute, different gatherings. It became part of the schedule of the week, performing Friday, Saturday, Sunday here and there. So I was always involved in the community, wherever they called me, I went. No matter what group it was. No matter if they were Catholics or masons or Baptists, it didn't stop me from going and doing performances in the community.

00:42:00

VILLANUEVA: Where do your music choices come from?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I don't write music. It's only one in a million that can write music. But if I like a song, and let's say I was called to go to a protest against The First Star Bank, so what I did, I got one of the songs that I perform and it's a protest song. What I did was change the words a little bit. For instance: "A veces yo me pregunto pa que aprendí a dividir si el que suma y multiplica es el que vive de mí. Si el que suma y multiplica es el que vive de mí. A veces yo me pregunto quién es más ladrón, hermano. Si los que roban un 00:43:00banco o aquellos que lo fundaron," lo dice otra número tres dice, "La cuestión con la moral es cosa de geografía. Lo que [Francia es muy normal esta mula/mulma?? en la China]. A veces yo me pregunto pa que me pregunto tanto. Si pregunte o no pregunte el mundo sigue andando. Si pregunte o no pregunte el mundo sigue andando," y todas de la canción le cambio ciertas palabras que quedan con la música y te estan dando una canción de protesta. Entonces me pide que [--] canción en otro lugar la categoría como la cante [de todo--] que 00:44:00es Facundo Cabral [lo que es] de una protesta. [Él es de Argentina--] Entonces yo he cambio nada más palabras claves, y la que cambio. Y La gente le gusta y pueden entenderme. Tengo un carácter para otra protesta otra vez en el First Star Bank me visto todo de blanco, todo de blanco me pongo una bandana roja y tres lágrimas de sangre saliendo de mi ojo derecho. Entonces soy el fantasma de hambre ves. Y así fui a cantar y afuera de First Star Bank cuando bien me vio 00:45:00mi esposo me vio ya maquillada se asustó se quedó, "Ay que es esto!"

My husband, when he saw me disguised as the phantom of hunger, he said, "Oh my God! What happened to you?" "I'm the phantom of hunger." At the end of whatever little speech I gave, I said, telling the people, because you could see the executives looking at us from the top of the offices of First Star Bank, and then I would say with a microphone, "Look at me again. I'm the phantom of hunger and despair. Christmas and New Year's will come to you with plenty of food, drinks and laughter. But I will be in your memory, reminding of the poor workers 00:46:00who have nothing to celebrate with or for. Workers of Wisconsin, join us in our cry now and take a stand now." Then I sang, "My Lord, what a morning. My Lord, what a morning. My Lord, what a morning. When the stars [inaudible]." So it's a kind of big message. You see people, they have been laid off, fired, they cry when they see a group of people standing up for them. They feel so helpless. I 00:47:00worked for Chrysler full time, I had my union, thanks for my union. I was protected, I could do that, I was free to do that, I had no problems with it. But these people who have nobody to help them out, to protect them, it must be terrible. I have a moral obligation to help them out.

VILLANUEVA: What issues do you defend and take part in? How would you describe them?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Employees who, because of the race of a person, they are not hired or they are fired for any little thing. Injustice, I cannot tolerate. 00:48:00Injustices. Basically, I, because I'm a union person, I believe in the unions. That's where I really put all my strength and all my talents in the service of the labor movement. That's where my strength comes and I will always protect the union and I will always protect the employees.

VILLANUEVA: When would you say you became politically conscious growing up? When was the first time for you?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: We have. I remember, my family is very political, very political, we're all democrats. I remember the republicans, which are the 00:49:00PRI-istas, from the PRI from Mexico, were marching in front of the house. We go up on the roof, we are little kids and we throw stones at them. How terrible but you know, we thought we were doing something good. It felt good. So I was raised as a very little girl, I remember enjoying that. So when I came here to the States, it was nothing new to me. Except that I felt the freedom to do that. Before I came, I was 19. But when I was 17 we used to have elections in my little town, my hometown and were putting our, gluing our propaganda in the corners of the last houses. We don't have a lot of money so we made sure they in the right place so people would see it. And before you turn around, you have a 00:50:00bunch of people, they got the prisoners, for free, we let you go but we want you to go out our propaganda on top of our [Lupita's] propaganda. Which is a federal offense but they could do it because they had the power. So I turn around and I was so angry, I went and I tore, I have a whole bunch of propaganda from the other party. So the police came and arrested me. They would put me in jail, so my brother came over and said, "Well she doesn't know. She's only 17. She doesn't know what she's doing." So they let me go free but I knew that I wasn't going to have a good life in Mexico. And later, when I was 19, I was going to law school, because I wanted to be a lawyer and one of the teachers told me, 00:51:00"No, with your ideas, you're not going to make it here. Your father lives in the States, go and live in the States where you are able to demonstrate, you are able to speak up without the danger of being arrested or being hurt badly." Because people "disappear," you know? If you are against the government. Yeah, they take care of you very well. You're gone and that's it. So that's what I did, I told my father I want to come the States because I really like to speak up and I believe that everybody has a right to have a home, have the right to eat and the right to dress properly. So it was heaven when I came here, it was just heaven for me and my ideas. So this is why I got very involved. I didn't start here in the States, I started way back in Mexico. But here, I was able to 00:52:00express myself and I was able to express it through music. Then I said, "Oh, people will listen, if I go end up in front of the people, and I have a microphone, I have a guitar. Wow, I don't write music but I can always change the words to what I want to say." This is what I did and it was the perfect instrument for me to be able to do what I felt the moral obligation to do.

VILLANUEVA: At the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, you were part of a protest in order to increase the Wisconsin Latino student enrollment and staged a peaceful sit-in at the Chancellor's office. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I wasn't there because the company didn't allow me to, I was attending UW-M in the evening, I'd work during the day and go in the evening. But I knew about it. I went to one or two gatherings but I wasn't very much 00:53:00involved because I wasn't allowed to. I would lose my job. And who else would support me? So I had no choice but to just follow whatever, being informed of what was going on. But I couldn't participate more. I couldn't take the guitar and sing with them or anything. So I felt bad about it but I was limited.

VILLANUEVA: Why would you lose your job?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: If I missed work without permission, I would be fired and I was told. So I had no choice. Cause I did ask for permission, "No, we cannot do it for protest. No way, no way."

VILLANUEVA: Regarding the 1991 tension between the Madison Area Technical College president Barbara Holmes and her allusion to wanting to get rid of Latinos by firing a Latina and transferring a Latino to another location, why would a person in such a high position of power want to move against the positions of other people of color?

00:54:00

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Fear. I got involved because one of my best friends was working there and she was going to be fired. Well, that's not fair. Let's go and protest. So at the time I had a week's vacation. So I was able to take a week's vacation and go there and march outside. That was very unfair. It was very unfair what this black lady did to the Hispanics. So we weren't happy with the answer, so we went to Washington D.C. We talked to a lot of politicians. Went to their offices and talked to them. Secretary of Education, a group of us were there and we were able to convince them that what she was doing was wrong. And they pick us up and sure enough there was something of her hiring that was out 00:55:00of place. Wasn't right, this is why we won. We won the case. They offered my friend the job back and she said, "No." She moved from Milwaukee to Chicago. I don't blame her because there was a very negative environment at the school. I support her because she was right, she was right. It's not a, there wasn't a reason to fire her. You don't like Hispanics, well tough, you just have to live with it. Especially a person with a position of MATC president or whatever. You just don't do that to people. So she got money anyway, before she left. She got a hunk of money. So whatever. History will tell in the future but I think she 00:56:00was the loser actually. She was.

VILLANUEVA: You received a Citizen of the Year Award in 1997 by the Lawyers Wives of Greater Milwaukee. What achievements did their organization list from your accomplishments to merit the award?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: It was music. I would represent International Institute in all kinds of gatherings. So I feel if I'm part of it, why not contribute as much as I can? And I did a lot for them. But at the same time, I kind of felt obliged because my father needed a letter of recommendation from an institution, for him to be able to bring me to the States. So my father went to the International 00:57:00Institute and they gave him the letter that he needed so I could come here. So I feel like I owe them a lot and the only way I could do it, I don't have money, but the only way I could do it was through my talent that I have. And I did it for years. And this is why they decided, and my clowning too, they added clowning to it. I go to the schools and represent in festivals, so they gave me the award. For my contributions to the community.

VILLANUEVA: How has your activism shaped you as a person? How do you now see the world and community that you live in?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I see that the Hispanics have improved a whole lot. I wouldn't say because of me. I'm just a little part of it. But we have had really good 00:58:00leaders in the Latin community that have really helped the Hispanics to progress. Like the Chamber of Commerce, helping people open stores in the community to serve the Spanish speaking people. And I feel that it was about time that something was done. We have UMOS, we have UCC, they have the community, they have a lot of organizations, the Spanish Center helps the community and they get money from the government and I think it's fair. Because of the amount of people that are over here, Spanish speaking people, that we have representatives and I think it's very healthy. Because they not have only Mexicans, or immigrants, they have Puerto Ricans, they have Cubans, whoever 00:59:00comes for help, it doesn't matter, even Americans. Poor Americans go there and they get help so it's really good. It's a good thing, it's a healthy thing. And that's why I'm very proud of my people. The leaders, they have been able to go this far with the little monies they get. They stretch every dollar to help.

VILLANUEVA: What is the importance of a song in a protest or a march? How would you say, why do you think song is so important to have in a protest?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: When you put music to words, it intensifies the message. It 01:00:00adds a lot to the message you want to convey. Music is very important, I mean, it's-- When we didn't have radios or TV, we had the trovadores, that go from one town to another. Tell stories of what was going on in a little town and they put music to it. So they bring the news but they would sing it, so people paid more attention. "Oh, so this is happening in this little town. Oh my goodness we didn't know." It's a way, word of mouth, but they use music because people pay attention more to music than just words. It's something about music, to me it's the essence of a soul, when you are able to communicate to somebody your feelings. Might be frustration, might be love, might be wondering. But when you 01:01:00add the element of music, you are able to communicate better, I feel that way. I sing in Spanish and sometimes I find it very difficult, especially when I go into the public school system and sing to English speaking kids. I'm singing another language, so I really have to make the extra effort to play music, that would touch them. And in the process of doing that, I learned to appreciate other music from other countries that I don't understand what they're talking about. But the music, the voice, the warmth of the voice, you can feel when the 01:02:00song is sad or is happy. So it's a way of communicating feelings and it doesn't have to be in the same language. So I really put my guts on the line singing, for the kids in another language. I do try to translate the main verses, the main idea. Well, the song is from my hometown and it's talking about a horse, un Corrido del Caballo de Blanco, a white horse who left Guadalajara and it tells you the story of how he started to get tired and went and finally made it to the states and by that time he was bleeding blood from his mouth because of all this walking that he did. He wanted to get to a town and he did it. So I try to explain what the music was all about, a translation of the main idea of the 01:03:00song, so they had an idea. But I admire them, I love them for not booing me out or throwing stones at me. I really, I don't know how I would have felt if I was in Mexico and had an American come singing songs. I don't know. I was never exposed to that but I suppose it would have been kind of strange, you know? It was gutsy to do that and I tell them, "At least I know that somebody is singing in another language." At least you can say that. That other countries have music too and they have feeling and express themselves through music.

VILLANUEVA: So tell us about being a clown. Why did you decide to do it and what's it like?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: I decided to be a clown because I got married and I couldn't 01:04:00have babies. So my husband talked to a priest and he said, "Send her to clown school. She loves children, she cannot have children, maybe you are trying too hard. In the process of being a clown and being with children, she might be able to get pregnant. After praying, of course. So it didn't happen and I became a clown. And it was wonderful because the kids were mine for an hour or two hours, wherever I was hired. And I spoiled them and then I sent them home with their parents. So I didn't have to change any diapers or anything like that so it was a lot of fun. Spoil the children, then send them home.

VILLANUEVA: Have you ever tied together your activism and desire of being a clown?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Yes, several times, there was an incident that I remember. A TV 01:05:00station, one of the public TV stations in Milwaukee, they cut the program for some reason and my friend said to me, "Oh it's so unfair. I love this show. I watch it all the time, very educational." So we decided to dress up as a clown, and we went, because we weren't allowed to give leaflets, so we went in there as clowns and we gave them the leaflets inside. They kept looking at us, "What the heck is this?" They didn't know what to do with us. To be honest with you, so we walk in there and we are giving leaflets and everything. They look at us, "Oh, what is this?" Finally, they get shocked with it, but we got them by surprise 01:06:00and people were able to read what we were saying in this protest. It was good, but they did kick us out in the end. We were able to get in there and thanks to the clown outfit, they didn't know what to think. You can do so much, when you want to do something, it doesn't matter how many obstacles, you will find a way to do it, when you want to do it. You will do it, it doesn't matter. You will do it. Nothing will stop you.

VILLANUEVA: What is one of your main struggles you've dealt with throughout your activism and being a clown? What's something that you've overcome?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Oh yes, yes. My alcoholism. Yes. I'm a happy recovering 01:07:00alcoholic. I have 15 years [of] sobriety. It took me five treatments to understand that it's a disease. Comes from my grandfather, my mother's father, who drank all his life. And out of the whole family, only my brother Jesse and myself, we came out with the disease. I know that people look down, even friends of mine, look down on people that are alcoholics. But you know, you don't look down on people that have diabetes. "Oh well I have diabetes." "Oh." "Well I have heart problems." "Oh. Pobrecitas, I'm so sorry." But if you are an alcoholic, you are treated completely different. You have complete rejection. Especially a woman. An alcoholic woman. In Mexico, they hide them in the closet. And I'm sure 01:08:00that here in the States, there are a lot of women that have this disease, but their husband, it's hard for them to admit that their wife drinks too much. Now, there's a difference between drinking too much and becoming an alcoholic. There's a big difference. Alcoholics, I had to have a drink all day long. So what I do, because I didn't have time. I wasn't allowed to leave the plant; I would get in trouble. I would mix all kinds of drinks. I would go to the bar, to the liquor store and buy all kinds of drinks and mix them together, it's called La Bomba, The Bomb. So I put it in a big thermos. So I take one drink and plopp. I was ready to go. Drank it like nothing. And I know when a person is drunk. Or a person is on drugs. Just look in the eyes, the eyes are wide open. I can tell 01:09:00right away. I see some performers. If you look close on the TV and you see the eyes are so open, then of course they're on drugs. Cause I was there, I know. I never used drugs. I didn't think that alcohol was a drug but it is a drug. Like any other drug. So thank God, my husband, he's a recovering alcoholic; it's for the rest of your life. You are never cured. There's no cure for alcoholism. And I think, I was asked not to talk about it, today. I decided because alcoholism is rampant in the community, all kinds of communities have the same problem. 01:10:00Some people are more obvious than other ones. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Like, I have a disease. It's sad when you do not make it. Like a friend of mine, we buried her, a month ago. She got into drinking and then into drugs. And she overdosed with heroin. She was only 42. Left two children. So I think we have to educate people. If I had known about this disease when I was younger, I would have gone to AA sooner. If I had known. But everybody keeps it quiet. Put the drunk in the closet and that's it. Instead of bringing it out and educating 01:11:00themselves about it. Even in Mexico, some of my nieces and nephews are alcoholics. They call me and I tell them, "You have to go to Anon," to find out what it's all about. But they are so embarrassed to go to Anon. It's a family, Anon is a meeting for the person who is sick. And I tell them, "Don't be embarrassed. It's like taking classes and in how to treat a person who has heart problems." But because of the stigma, of it, if it's bad for a man, it's horrible for a woman. And I carry the stigma. I phrase it, "Drop it like a hot potato." And I know what it's all about. But hopefully they will find out what it's all about. And even if they never come back into my life, it's okay. Just 01:12:00try to understand somebody else, it might their own relatives that they will understand a little more. So there's hope. And it's AA. The only thing.

VILLANUEVA: So how did you become conscious that it was a disease?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Because I couldn't stop. After the fifth treatment, "Well, why do you drink?" I said, "I do not know. I like it, but I do not know. I can't stop." And after I sobered up, I decided to take the course to be an AA counselor. And I finished it up and everything. Because I really wanted to know what it was all about. And I learned a whole lot. For instance, my friend can have a beer. He's a little happy and then it goes out through the system. To the 01:13:00urine and everything. Something happens to the alcoholics, it stays in the brain. So it's addicted, becomes addicted. It's all in the brain. Which I didn't know that. I had a lady who was 92-years-old in treatment. We talked in groups and she said, "I never had drop of alcohol. My parents were alcoholics, both of them. And on my 75th wedding anniversary, my husband said, "Have a toast with champagne." "So I have the drink and I felt tickling in my veins. I felt ticklish; oh it's so delicious. Then I became real outspoken and started dancing and I couldn't stop drinking." So the kids were like, "Oh this is cute, she got 01:14:00drunk." "But then, the following day I continue and I continue, I continue and I'm here. And I'm alcoholic. I never had a drink and now at 92, I'm an alcoholic." Yes, oh yes. Isn't it something? In a way, I'm so happy I never had any children. And the reason is because I wouldn't want my children to go through what I went through with alcoholism. Out of ten women alcoholics, only one is supported by the husband. Only one understands the disease in a woman. And they will leave the women to die. Isn't it something? Women will stay with the husbands. But men do not tolerate a woman drunk. No way Jose. So it's sad, 01:15:00isn't it sad. Not understanding about the disease. We pay the price. Women pay the price. It's nothing with being an alcoholic. Just take enough time to try to talk to the person about it. You might not be able to talk about it; you might be able to communicate with the person but sooner or later hopefully you will go through. And the person realizes they got a disease.

VILLANUEVA: What advice would you give to somebody who is currently suffering through it?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: AA is the only solution. AA. I have my brother in law who died last month. He was a really heavy drinker. He decided to stop because my sister 01:16:00was going to divorce him. "I promise never to have a drink." But he didn't with whatever he had inside. He was [grunting noises]. But AA helps you out to bring everything that you have, traumas that you have, everything that you have, that kind of, te orillan, and push you to drink. Just to cover up the pain that you have suffered at a time. You think, "Well, if I drink I'll forget about it. I'll bury it." It's there. And AA is only thing that will help you out. It's like when alcoholics try to give a person an animal or something. You don't want it; you resist it for as much as you can but it's the only thing. In the end, it's the only thing. Thank God I'm still alive. I nearly died. I was this far, so I'm 01:17:00here for a reason. God keeps me here for a reason. But I'm an advocate for AA.

VILLANUEVA: What's the most radical work you've engaged in?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: Whenever they call me for a performance, they would let me know what was the occasion. I will find out a couple of days in advance, so I sit down and I pick out the songs that I was going to do. And I have it in a piece of paper, "Performance," with such and such, the date and then the program. And this time I was drunk. And they told me we want you to go to this funeral and they want you to sing there. Somehow I goofed up the cards and I picked the wrong card. So when I walk in the funeral I look, "Happy Birthday," first thing. 01:18:00So I tune up, "Happy birthday to you--" and they said, "No, no, no!" "Yes! Happy birthday--" "No! Lupita!" "No, yes! Happy birthday--" Three times and they grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out. "No, this is a funeral." "A funeral? Oh! I thought it was a birthday." Until today, they still talk about it. All my friends, they say, "Oh please Lupita, Happy birthday." But this is the most comical thing that I have done, performing. It's kind of embarrassing. They knew that I was drinking like crazy. But that one topped it off. And I'm still embarrassed to think about it. They had a good laugh. After I could laugh but 01:19:00when I was there, I was so embarrassed, I wanted just to go home. So that was it for the performance, I just wanted to leave. But it was the most radical thing that had happened to me.

VILLANUEVA: Would you change anything about the journey you have taken thus far?

BÉJAR VERBETEN: yes. I think, two things. I wish I had learned about AA before, many years ago. Because I drank at my mom's funeral, when I was five-years-old. The other women were crying, my mom died and all the guys were talking in the kitchen so I went in the kitchen and I pick up a cup and I drink and I could feel the tingling, I told you, what the lady said, the 92-year-old lady that 01:20:00said, "I felt a tingling in my veins." I felt the same thing in my veins. From being shy, I became outspoken and everything. Then I couldn't leave it. I was always, invite me, I was always close to the booze. Always. We went on a dance and a couple of friends, we used to go in groups, and they had the beer and I'd wait for them to go to the ladies' room or go dancing so I can a couple of drinks from each bottle. So they wouldn't know, I wouldn't drink the whole thing. "Oh, I finished my beer, so fast." But I would hide in order to have a drink. And I just wish I was exposed to AA earlier. One time I combined Antabuse, which is a medication they give you to stop drinking. And I had antidepressants. What else was I taking? Three medications, Antabuse, and 01:21:00alcohol. I was out of my mind for five days. I don't know how I ended up in Mexico, hearing voices, horrible. Running in Morelia without knowing where I was. Half naked. There was a Spanish style entry to the house. This real dark, wire twisted in beautiful forms, metal and the door was open a little bit and I could hear a dog barking. I opened the door and the dog was one of those little dogs that they cut the ears and the tail. Not the German Shepherd. A Doberman. I don't know what he saw or what he smelled. But when he saw me, he laid on the 01:22:00floor. So the owner came, it was five o'clock in the morning. The owner of the house came out, a lady, said to me, "Who is there? Who is there?" And I had myself behind a little tree and I said, "My name is Lupita Béjar. Please, I'm not a bad person. I'm sick. I'm sick. Please call Miguel Béjar." "Oh, Miguelito Béjar." "Yeah." "I'll call him." She said, "You are lucky, his wife used to make dresses for weddings. Your sister in law made the dresses for all my daughters when they got married." Thank God that God put me there, got in my feet to go to that house, because they would call the police, I would be 01:23:00arrested, I was crazy, and put me in a nuthouse and I would never come out of it. So Michael came, he said, "What happened?" I said, "I don't know. I don't know." So we went to a priest because I wanted to have an exorcism done because I kept hearing voices of kids accusing me of stuff, you won't believe it. So he said, "No, no, no, no. Was she drinking?" "Yes." "Let's see her purse." And they found the antidepressants and then the pills. "Oh no wonder. There's still drugs in her head." So after I came out of that, then I went to Communion. And I still go to Communion and look at, in Mexico they have all these statues of all the saints. I could see the saints making dirty signs to me and everything. Still going to Communion, I look up and Saint Peter, "Oh my God. You gotta be kidding." My brother: "Don't worry about it, it's going to, the medication's wearing out. Just go to Communion, it's all you need. So once I took Communion, 01:24:00I felt like a refreshing rain because I had really high temperatures. It felt so good. Then I passed out, because I didn't sleep for five days. Then I recuperated for another five days and came back to the States, my brother called my psychiatrist, "Well, yeah she combined the medications. I've been begging her not to ever do that." So that was very close, very close. He said, "if it happened here in the States, they would put you in a hospital, you wouldn't ever come out of it." And he took me to a psychiatry hospital and I could see the guys going, one is Napoleon, one is a king. The other one, flies are trying to 01:25:00kill him. All of they do is this in a corner. And they keep medicating them and they keep getting sicker and sicker until they die. He said, "Thank God that you ended up in Mexico. If you were in the States, you would be in a hospital. Never come back to reality. So thank God that it happened in Mexico and not here. And that's a consequence of alcoholism. It beat me up real bad but now I'm such a different person. I'm so proud of myself for not drinking. Right now if I see a beer, it doesn't bother me at all. People drink in front of me, doesn't bother me. You know, I cannot tolerate, you won't believe this. What a hypocrite. I cannot tolerate a woman drunk. If I see women drinking, they're getting drunk, I have to get out of the place or look the other way. Because I see myself there. 01:26:00And I inquire the person, "I was like you. I was like you but there's hope, if you want to." Some just curse you, they don't want to hear anything about it, AA or anything. But you run the risk. And thank God, thank God. I'm a better person for it. Thank God.